So, I’m sitting here watching pictures transfer from the Nikon D40 that I’m borrowing from the school library, to my MacBook. Even before I look at them, I’ve filled with a sense of dread. They’re awful. At least, the ones that REALLY count are awful. The ones that will be graded are awful. As an over-achiever, this irks me. They are PICTURES. I am an ARTIST. I’m majoring in GRAPHIC DESIGN.
This should come naturally, right?
Well, not everything comes naturally. It’s important to recall that. Not everyone who can draw, can paint. Not everyone who can take good photographs can draw. Not everyone who can balance a checkbook can trade stock. Not everyone who can…anyways, you get the idea.
I dread the bad grades. I really do. The 4.0 I had senior year of high school has already lowered considerably since I entered college, and these pictures aren’t going to help much. (Luckily, half of the pictures I need to process tonight are for a smaller project that is only 5% of my grade. The other half are for a project that is worth 10% of my grade.)
As a graphic designer and artist, I have to accept the fact that I might not get an A in my digital photography class. Sure, I should try to achieve that, but trying too hard and failing might be worse than accepting my lack of natural talent. No one likes to put their all into something, only to realize it’s still not that good. (Especially not perfectionists like me.)
So, I must accept that I am human, and move on.
Next year, I’ll be taking design classes. I’ll be taking print and digital media classes that will play into my talents a little better. I’m already taking two classes in which I’m getting A’s, so I can’t let Digital Photography get me down.
After all, I’m only human.