Stress and Disappointment


Things have been stressful lately.

Very stressful.

Finals are coming up.  My school operates on trimesters rather than semesters, so we have three fast-and-furious terms a year rather than two longer ones.  This means that my class schedule is a bit more hectic, my credits work out a lot differently than most people’s, and my finals schedule is completely wacky.  In a 10-and-a-half week schedule, I’m currently finishing up week 9, which tends to be one of the hardest weeks of the term.

Factor in the deadlines approaching for my England trip, the quickly-approaching SXSW Interactive festival, two jobs, side-work, upcoming concert band performances, and an array of other personal stress sources…

I’m fried.

I’m also facing the reality that I probably won’t graduate from college “on time.”  I know that going to school and extra term or two won’t kill me, but it’s a crushing disappointment.  You see, I hate classroom learning.  I love internships.  I love learning on the job.  I hate learning from textbooks.  Overall, I’m just bad at college, and the years in which I’ve been attending college have been very hard on me, personally.  A lot has happened.  So, I’m anxious for this stage of my life to be over.

I had to make a choice, though.

I had to choose not to go to England.

And I’m disappointed.  Very disappointed.  However, I’m also relieved.  I could think of a million reasons not to go, and while I had plenty of desire and drive to make the trip, I’m not entirely sure I really wanted to.  It would have been a great experience, but I value graduating over travel.  I’ve never been much of a traveler.  Maybe someday I will be, but the cards just aren’t playing out for me to globetrot at this stage in my life.

So, there you have it.  Stress and disappointment.  My emotions for the time being.

Spring break cannot get here fast enough; I am ready to put this term, and its stress, behind me.

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2 thoughts on “Stress and Disappointment

  1. One day at a time darlin. And to clarify, you’re not a bad student, you just hold yourself to a higher standard that is sometimes hard to reach. I’ve seen your transcripts and you are definitely not a bad student. You need to lighten up on yourself! Go dance like no ones watchin! love Mom

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