I’m a crabby person. Some days. And that’s not always bad.

We all have bad days. We all have days where something goes wrong and it sends us completely off-kilter. Or, those days when you’re reminded of something that just totally sets you off the track. Or, better yet, those days where you can’t even pinpoint what’s put you in a bad mood, but you are, and it shows. Either way, we all know what it’s like to have a bad day.

I call this version of it “The Angry Bridesmaid.”

For part of last week, I’ve been stuck in that mode. Wednesday was an emotional day for me. It would have been my dad’s 56th birthday. While that would be a reason to be sad on its own, the kicker was that it’s the 10th anniversary of his last birthday with us. Ten years ago. Ten. A decade. That’s almost half of my life. Talk about a buzz-kill.

Either way, that realization made me crabby. I don’t blame folks for avoiding me that day. Anyway, I was talking to a friend mine, Mike Davelaar, about it later on. Mike does a lot of volunteer work with youth, and if I ever need a kind word of encouragement or a little bit of perspective, I know he’s just a phone call away. So, after a few nasty days I gave him a call while driving home. We talked for a while, and he offered some great insight.

One of my big concerns about my bad mood during that time was that it was incredibly obvious. The folks who interact with me on Twitter and Facebook could easily tell I was in a not-very-happy place. It wasn’t fair for me to let them see me in such a foul mood, right? Mike’s thoughts were that this was just another level to the transparency we preach to the rest of the agriculture community in regards to our outreach work.

If we want to show the world that we are human, shouldn’t we be comfortable sharing our human emotions? I’m not saying every detail, nor all the depth of your feelings. But acknowledging that we all have days when we are a little sub-par or not quite up to capacity is part of acknowledging our place in society.

I can’t explain this picture. At all. But I can tell you that I wasn’t happy about what was going on. And for some reason WordPress won’t recognize that it was rotated…

My pain and frustration that week didn’t make me mean or a grouch or a pariah. It made me human. And while it isn’t necessarily a good idea to publicize all of your heartache to your Internet network, you also don’t need to put up a false, sugary-sweet front where nothing is ever wrong. Life gets hard sometimes, it’s only realistic for us to acknowledge the unhappiness publicly at times.

Besides, sometimes you just have to let the crabby out to get to a better mental place. I work hard to maintain some level of optimism and cheeriness in my life, but there are just days where the “grumpies” will get you, regardless. Allow that for yourself. So you can end up more like this afterward:

Llamas. They make me smile…unless they’re guardian llamas. Then they make me scared and spit-covered.

Thanks, Mike, for reminding me that we’re all human, and our individual reputations won’t be tarnished by the occasional bad day (within reason). And thanks to everyone else across my social media channels who took time to offer kind words and encouragement during an expected period of crabbiness. You helped, even if you couldn’t necessarily tell.


4 thoughts on “I’m a crabby person. Some days. And that’s not always bad.

  1. Hopefully you can permanently check into your happy place. I’m sure glad that I’ve never been grumpy/sad enough to have to resort to llama therapy.

    • Hahaha! Well, lots of big and exciting changes are coming up for me, which could completely nullify the need for llama therapy! (Actually, the llama was part of a petting zoo at the Kankakee Farmers Market, where I was working as a 4-H Ambassador that day!)

  2. “My pain and frustration that week didn’t make me mean or a grouch or a pariah. It made me human.” One of the best lines I’ve read all week.

    Honesty is imperative online. People can smell fake and it repels them. Like you said, we don’t have to share everything. Somedays it may be better to bow out and not say much at all. Better than putting on the perma-grin that you know isn’t real. That’s not fair to your readers or yourself. Great post.

    • Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Aimee! I agree. I also learned that honesty about some of our struggles can open doors for a connection. I ended up getting unexpected support from members of my online community. They didn’t care that I was in a foul mood, they cared that a number of stressors had arisen to make me that way.

      There’s a saying that I don’t remember verbatim, but it goes along the lines of, “When people are hardest to love, they often need it most.” I may have been a grump, but I am blessed with awesome friends who didn’t care. Thanks again for stopping by!

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