Sometimes, I do this thing where I stop blogging for a while. I like to call those chapters, “real life.” Sometimes, real life gets so busy that we don’t have time to document it. Before I dive into my blog post, here’s a quick update on day-to-day life:
- Josh (previously known as Nightwolf — the nickname was fun while it lasted) and I celebrated our first year together. Time flies when you’re having fun, and we’ve been having all the fun!
- The medications that I was so nervous about starting are working beautifully. I don’t remember the last time my bipolar disorder was this well-managed. (Honestly, it’s a lot harder to write creatively when I’m stable. This is probably a big contributor to the lack of blog activity.)
- My not-so-new-anymore job is going beautifully. While it’s had its stressful moments, it’s been a great experience and I’m really happy there. While I miss working in agriculture, my new vertical (post-secondary education) is an INCREDIBLY fulfilling one to work in.
- I’ve been BUSY. For a while, it seemed like there wasn’t a day of the week that wasn’t filled. Relay For Life, Josh, travel, work, friends, and church activities have kept me busy. It’s been the good kind of busy, though.
- I started running again (badly) — it’s been tough after two battles with bronchitis, but I can’t deny how great it feels.
So, what’s this new chapter?
After two years in Kansas City, my apartment and I are parting ways. This shoebox of a place in downtown Kansas City, with beautiful views and “colorful” neighbors has definitely had some life lessons to offer. I feel like it was the stereotypical “small-town girl with a TIGHT budget moves to the city to tackle life” story:
- Girl moves in, idealistic and excited.
- Girl slowly begins noticing flaws.
- Girl is so optimistic and naive that she turns a blind eye to the flaws.
- Girl, eventually, hits a breaking point.
- Girl stuffs her face with ice cream and cries because cockroaches and scary neighbors are exhausting.
Shortly after I renewed my lease just over a year ago, I began realizing how much I actually hated this apartment. However, at the time, I worked 3/4 of a mile away, had the perfect lack-of-commute, and was enjoying my downtown life. At that time, I had no idea that my life would be changing drastically in the coming months, via lay-offs.
When my former employer decided they could no longer afford my salary, it stopped being worth it to live here. Commuting through rush-hour traffic to an agency 20 miles away meant that I did not have the mental patience to deal with a dicey neighborhood and poor living conditions anymore. The convenience factor died in a blazing glory.
I spent months — literally months — hunting. Every time a new frustration would arise, I would obsessively crawl the Internet for better options. I even threatened to contact the health department regarding the less-than-desirable conditions about my apartment, hoping to be released from my contract early. (That didn’t pan out…)
Then, as if it was meant to be, the perfect place fell into my lap. The rent is right, the apartments are beautiful, the location is perfect, and I’ll be living a mile and a half from a certain blue-eyed guy that I’ve grown pretty fond of.
The new place has no history of cockroaches. The neighbors are a more domesticated demographic than my current complex. The appliances were manufactured after 1970. The square footage is almost 1.5 times what I currently have. I’ll have a balcony. And a fireplace. And guaranteed parking. And a dishwasher.
If you’re not a Christian, you may want to tune out now. But, I firmly believe that my prayers were answered. For a while now, I’ve felt like the only thing standing between me and a better hold on my life was my apartment. I feel as though the feeling of defeat and hopelessness attached to my apartment often fed into lower lows. I felt trapped. It forced me to turn to prayer, in search of patience and persistence.
It paid off. And now, I find myself packing boxes and purging belongings. And it feels spectacular.
Will I miss downtown? At times. I’ll miss the off-beat restaurants, the way the city comes to life on Saturday nights, and the epic sunsets above the West Bottoms. I’ll miss “my park” and being able to walk to River Market. My new apartment is slightly more suburban…but I’m ready for that. I’ve paid my downtown, broke girl dues. Now, it’s time to focus on having nice things, things I deserve.
My favorite part about the new apartment? It’s bordered on two sides by a nature park. It’s practically like living the woods at my parents’ place back home.
So, here’s to new chapters, and life lessons learned from small, moldy, roach-infested apartments.